Who you trust determines what you believe


Lately I’ve stumbled upon articles, books, and interviews about the origin of belief, about why we believe what we believe. It seems to be a conversation in the air these days at a time marked by denial of human-caused climate-change, or the apparently widespread belief that mass shootings have nothing to do with gun access. Many are left pondering how people can hold strong beliefs that defy the evidence, or defy logic as we personally define it.

Social scientists who study how beliefs are formed find, in fact, that beliefs have little to do with reasoning or logic. Basically, we adopt our beliefs from those we love and trust, then we seek out ways to rationalize those beliefs. Beliefs are essentially born out of relationship, not reasoning (for an interesting conversation on the topic, see this OnBeing interview with Nobel Laureate Daniel Kahneman https://goo.gl/SDTXEf). And relationship doesn’t necessarily have to be one-on-one. We have relationships with authors, with fictional characters, with radio commentators, with teachers or preachers we may not know personally. When we admire and trust people in relationship, we—and our beliefs—are shaped by them in far-reaching ways. Only after we have adopted our beliefs do we seek out logical explanations that undergird our belief systems. Again, our beliefs are not necessarily rational, they are relational. If you think you are an exception and your beliefs are purely derived from reason no matter what the research shows, well, I rest my case.

As I have reflected on this topic and its implications, I recognize the importance of forming relationships—including with media and with those in books—who have character. For me, this means those manifesting loving-kindness in their lives in various ways. Is this something we consider when we choose our friendships, when we tune in to our favorite news anchors, when we select the stories we consume—whether in film or written text, when we choose different teachers? I’m not being moralistic here. I’m talking about goodness in all its complexity, not squeaky-clean, legalistic priggishness. In fact, complex, real-world characters whose struggles blossom into deepening loving-kindness, are far more reliable than people with saccharine, white-washed lives devoid of struggle who secretly dominate their partners, bully their dog, and insult people behind their backs. I’m talking about finding teachers with character in contrast to those who put on a show of goodness.

It is simply a practical consideration when we recognize how our beliefs are being formed. Do you really want your formation to be left to someone who is, at their core, unreliable? Do you want to entrust your very worldview to someone you would not trust to help you in a crisis?

Another consideration that comes to mind as I reflect on social-scientific discoveries about belief formation, is this: If we want to make a difference in the world, the only place to start is in relationship.

This week I happened to read the story of Jesus’ encounter with Zacchaeus. I was struck by the way this transformative encounter took place. Zacchaeus was a tax collector who admitted to defrauding the poor. But Jesus didn’t excoriate Zacchaeus about his practices when they met; rather, he invited himself over for dinner. And something in Zacchaeus’ encounter with Jesus compelled him to radically alter his ways, proclaiming that he would give half of his wealth to the poor and pay back four-fold those he had defrauded. This interaction is typical of how Jesus seems to have related to people. He sat down with them and shared food, he told stories (a key component of social gatherings in ancient times), he asked questions, he met people where they were and had compassion for their circumstances—basically the essence of loving-kindness. (In the gospels we read passages where Jesus is depicted accosting people, but usually these passages reveal more about the arguments and circumstances of the gospel writers and their communities than about Jesus’ words and deeds. Take, for example, Jesus’ rants against the Jewish sect of the Pharisees. Pharisees were far more likely to be opponents of early Christians in the mid- to late-first century than opponents of Jesus himself. In other words, they were opponents of the gospel writers and their communities who are cast as Jesus’ enemies).

The Jesus stories reveal a level of intuition about how learning takes place. Today they are a reminder of the importance of human interactions at a time when many people feel isolated, when we are more inclined to rescind into echo chambers of familiar voices than to rub shoulders with people different from ourselves—even to rub shoulders with people of like mind! Nowadays, loneliness, isolation, and social anxiety are almost pandemic. Yet the solution is not to become social butterflies and partake of shallow interactions more frequently. Quality is key; not quantity.

Being widely and well read is also key—exposing ourselves to different perspectives. Those who study Alzheimer’s find that contemplative nuns have exceptionally healthy brains. The nuns’ exposure to a wealth of learning in different areas may play a role in their neurological healthfulness. They have lives peppered with quiet and solitude, yet choose relationships based on substance, and expose themselves to good teachers via the unbounded classrooms of the inner life.

Like everything, it is a balance. My times in solitude and reflection are no more important than my times of deep sharing with a friend at the local whiskey bar. As a favorite theologian, Abraham Joshua Heschel, said, “We have to have more than textbooks. We need text-people.” Both shape our beliefs and our views of the world.

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One thought on “Who you trust determines what you believe

  1. Excellent. I’ve seen many of these studies, so I’m already convinced, but the trust emphasis was illuminating.

    I’ve been thinking that the divine is manifest in trustworthiness, and this adds fuel to that fire.

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