The illusion is the rising green horizon where farmland meets sky before eye can glimpse coast, Cascade mountains bounding our valley like border walls. This home is no prairie, where you set cruise to 70 and await rainbows, uncanny wonders. Our peaks, instead, so imposing they stymie migrations: illness mortality rage—the slow progress of regress [...]
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Do not Forget To Wait
{Originally published in Friends Journal, March 2021} Sprawled on handmade quilts in a grassy orchard, sharing an outdoor, physically distanced visit with my friend Karen under purple pear and transparent apple trees, I am nowhere near a desert. My Willamette Valley farm home is more Edenic than it is barren, devoid, or austere. Yet when [...]
Poetry: Summer at Twelve
{Poem originally published at The Literary Nest, Winter 2020} The shopkeeper kept silent each timemy friend and I snuck behind the far rowof books, eyes wide at The Joy of Sex. Perhaps it was time we knew. Attwelve, we bled, could reproduce.And we were children of the seventies; innocence so passé. Oh, the wonders in [...]
Holding on to Healthy Community
In his book Outliers: The Story of Success, author Malcolm Gladwell tells of a mid-century Pennsylvania town called Roseto.[1] In the 50s, this town was populated entirely of people who'd come from a single Italian village of the same name. A young medical doctor who got to know the place became baffled by how the village had [...]
Springtime Requires Winter
I have a longtime close friend named Brother Martin Gonzales. He’s soon to be 96 years old and has been a monk with a Trappist community in Lafayette for almost 70 years. Once during his 60s, he was called into the Abbot’s office. The Abbot informed him that either he had to go to a [...]
Remember Who You Are
{Sermon delivered at St. Mary’s Episcopal Church, Woodburn, Oregon, 1.10.21; Lectionary text: Genesis 1:1-5 (below).} From the short few verses of Genesis 1 we read this morning, the passage or chapter goes on to poetically, vividly narrate a tale of creation that culminates in a day of rest. All along the way, we are told—as [...]
No Space Between Us
{Originally published in the beautifully designed Fall 2020 issue of Rathalla Review} We feel nineteen, I think, kissing, leaning into him as he rests his rear on the island in his light-flooded farmhouse kitchen. Only thing: when he was nineteen, I wasn’t born yet. Wasn’t a sparkle in my mother’s eye until he reached a [...]
God as a Circle Dance
{Sermon delivered at St. Mary’s Episcopal Church, Woodburn, Oregon, 12.27.20; Lectionary text: John 1:1-18 (text below).} The Prologue of John is a fitting scripture to read just after Christmas because it encapsulates so much of what we celebrate at the holiday: God coming among us; God enfleshed; God represented in the life of this baby [...]
Go and Speak Fearlessly
I am somewhat haunted by a woman I once passed in Florence, Italy while vacationing in the late 90s. Since my teens I had dreamt of visiting Florence, and then there I was—living out the fantasy. But one day walking down a side street, I saw this woman. She apparently had Hansen’s disease, formerly called [...]
Blessed Now; Woeful Later (Repeat)
When things are good, we want to shield our eyes from whatever is up ahead. If we do this in an effort to live in the moment, acknowledging impermanence and accepting whatever life offers—wonderful. But most often, not wonderful. Most often we cling to the good like the cat in that 1970s “Hang in There” [...]
Will These Obstacles Build Momentum?
For someone whose chosen art form is words, I really prefer silence. Even more so, images. Almost every idea or value I hold is held as a vivid image, including notions of transcendence or God. Of course, to share these images, I resort to words. For example, I like to image God as a “flow,” [...]
What to Call the Supporters?
Occasionally I go to the mailbox in my nightgown. Or I check our roadside egg-stand in my bathrobe after an evening soak. Living in the country, we don’t see much traffic, but we do see some. And each time I happen to the roadside clad in my night-things, I figure a neighbor or a worker [...]
We Go Together
In the intriguing book Sapiens, Yuval Harari makes the case that homo sapiens dominated all other species and left behind other early-humanoids because—of all things—we were able to pass on shared sacred stories. Basically, we prevailed because we can spin a good yarn. And a good yarn builds group cohesion. Prior to the ability to build [...]
We were Made for Balance
Listening to a talk by JD Crossan, I was recently reminded that in the origin story opening the book of Genesis, Sabbath—not humanity—is creation’s mounting crescendo, creation’s pinnacle. I thought: I must remember this every day—everyday as I struggle against the capitalistic pressures, the personality pressures to push and produce in excess. Often, even as [...]
Taking A Place at the Back of the Line
Have you ever participated in a Maundy Thursday foot washing? I find the ritual amusing. What amuses me is the awkwardness of most people, the squeamishness about touching others, the discomfort with an act so unfamiliar and so intimate. I’ve observed many people (okay, white people) choosing to pair up with a close family member [...]
“Wade in the Water; God’s gonna Trouble the Water.”
{This essay, originally published in January 2017 right around the inauguration of Forty-Five, is among my most often read essays. It seems especially timely to re-share.} “Wade in the water. God’s gonna trouble the water.” In the centuries-old spiritual, we’re told to wade into the healing water because God will “trouble” the water. In the [...]
Silence is complicity; but also, be quiet.
The most recent examples of social-media-captured racist action—most notably George Floyd’s murder, and the many reactions to them, cause perilous sadness. A swirling undertow of grief that is my own, but more so, part of a mammoth, mounting historical undertow of sadness that is nationwide. I add my voice to the call for justice and [...]
The bad is part of the good.
{This essay was written in 2017, but in the days of coronavirus seems timely to re-share. The thoughts and questions feel current. "What is the third way, the third stance and synthesis, that might help us ascend from this time having learned and evolved in important ways?"} You could say I am fond of animals; [...]
I dislike online church, but that’s a good thing.
Much as I appreciate the intentions of those replacing covid-cancelled gatherings with online substitutions, I find myself unmoved by screen-time stand-ins. So many things have gone online: college courses, pub trivia nights, family reunions, dates, happy hours, book clubs, visits with grandparents, and of course, church. I honestly hope these replacements work for many people—that [...]
Fragile
{Though I wrote this essay in April 2020, it still resonates in 2021. Perhaps even more so.} In quarantine, I’m of normal mood most days; other days I tear up a lot. Part of my Plan For Wellness involves feeling my feelings. Yet some days the feelings are so knotted and complex and all-inclusive I [...]
Do You Feel Less Useful?
These days my twenty-eight year old daughter calls me daily, at least once. We are uniquely close, but normally talk by phone just a couple of times per week. Sometimes less. Yet here she is, a single, social-distancing millennial whose world, like that of many, has been upended by COVID-19 economics, and who has discovered [...]
The Other Part of the Miracle
{First appeared in Northwest Coast Magazine, Spring 2009} The Other Part of the Miracle is the red-wingeds’ return, black birds with a revel of crimson on their shoulders, a call that sags like a drawl, like the short-long-short of their flight. March has finally come. Mind you the birds perch on cattails sprung and faded, [...]
God is in the Obstacle
There is something archaeological about moving—the artifacts of past lives and forgotten experiences we unearth, the evidence of emotional layers long since covered over. When I recently moved, I came across a 4x6” piece of paper on which I’d written in large letters, “God is in the obstacle.” The words were likely written four to [...]
The Mercy
{Excerpted from Season of Wonder by Tricia Gates Brown, 2016} “…The mystery of life in its totality is incomprehensible, and what can be understood often speaks in a language so slow that we seldom stick around long enough to hear it.” —Mark Nepo As Mark Nepo states so beautifully, what can be understood of life’s [...]
Poetry: Crossing Rio Grande
{First published in the Jan. 15, 2020 print issue of Christian Century} Crossing Rio Grande No time for modesty when they saytake off your clothes. And hereyou dress in the dark, keep eyesclosed making love with your wife. Every stitch, they say, even the pregnant ones,even kids. Other side, tack-cloth jeansshimmied over wet skin [...]